Illusions and Disillusions..

A little depressed these few days..Especially today..But...
Don't worry, I'm not going to cut myself or do something stupid.
I realize now that life is immaterial. People you love can always leave anytime.

Even the people you thought were the strongest and could never falter.

'People are people and sometimes we change our minds..'
Breath, Taylor Swift

People are still people, no matter how strong or powerful they are. No matter how much they seemed like a hero to you, your personal Superman. When the time comes, they will leave. And the only thing to do is grieve.

I never let anyone see my grief. I can't. I didn't cry at the past two funerals. But I did cry when I got the news. I was shocked, I didn't think he'd leave that soon.

I didn't think he'd leave at all.

I get attached too emotionally. I remember seeing a mail someone forwarded to me. It said : 'People who are the toughest are actually the softest at heart. People who look to protect people want to be protected themselves.' And they're right.

I've grown a sort of shield around me. I don't let anyone see my pain. I try to take away their pain, in the end adding to my own pain, even though it is irrelevant.

I've tried to let go..Can't..I'm starting to loose hope, to want to open Pandora's box and let go of Hope. I want to let go, I just want to lie and rest...