Faith? Belief? Hope?

Sometimes, I see people always saying 'I've lost hope', 'It's over, I can't fix it any more', 'I'm so alone' etc etc. Then I wonder, did you really have hope at all in the first place? Or did you only have some semblance of hope? A weak wish that everything will be all right?

 Hope isn't given to you by someone else. You have to find your own hope, within yourself. It doesn't have to be that feeling of faith, hope can be your family, your friends; anything that will give you the thought of not giving up. There were so many times that were just so easy for me to give up. To just admit that I lost and to just fall and do nothing. But then I think of my family; what would they say if I had given up just like that? What would I, myself say if I had just given up hope?

 I really like the story of Pandora's box, that when the box was opened, all things evil would come out and taint the world. But Hope remains in that box. It will always be there, whether you can see it or not. All we have to do is just remain strong, and avoid tempting to open the box and loose Hope. Sometimes, once you've lost hope, it's difficult to get it back, sometimes even impossible.

 So think about it, before you've given up on anything. Find that spark of Hope inside of you, no matter how small it is. As long as that spark still burns within, you'll never loose Hope.

Continuation..Or Not.

I so forgot what I wanted to write from my last post. Oh well. Umm..I'm bored. No, seriously, I am. Ever tried playing the games on Big Fish Games? They're nice, only thing is you can only play it for an hour. Party pooper. I have absolutely no idea what to write now. Maybe I'll just wait till I have something to cry and whine about. Yeah, I'll do that. Ciao.

Vampire Diaries

Finally, I think it's time to have a little rant on my current favourite television series eh?

After a year of badgering from my friends, I've finally started watching it. Do I regret it? Nope.

All right, first things first. Character dissection. Let's start with Elena Gilbert. I liked Nina Dobrev. I think she's a fantastic actress who is able to portray two characters who are polar opposites. I do like Elena Gilbert, that was in Season 1. I mean, I still like her now, but after watching the latest 2 episodes of Season 3, I've decided maybe she's getting a little too selfish. Two brothers fawning over her, one is Stefan Salvatore, good-guy-turned-bad-turned-good? And Damon Salvatore, bad-guy-who-wasn't-really-bad-turned-good-guy. Aptly put by Katherine, the brother who didn't love me enough and the brother who loved me too much. I can't help but feel that sometimes, Damon loves Elena more. But let's leave that for later.

Fine, I understand that Elena was with Stefan first, and the entire 'Stefan-will-always-be-first' lecture'. I get that. But Stefan, I know he loves her, but does he love her enough? And poor Damon, always ending up being rejected in favour of Stefan, first Katherine, now Elena. I really do commend Ian Somerhalder for being able to come up with such a pitiful kicked puppy look..Aww..

Urgh, you know what? I'll just continue tomorrow. TTFN said the tridelts.

Dream A Little Dream..

You know, I've always wanted to be a writer. There was something magical how just by using the right words, you could create an entire world and people. You can create an entire scenario, no matter how illogical or realistic it is, you can make it real, because it's your world.

But, I suppose I'll never realise that dream. Sure I love to write, it's something that keeps me sane, sometimes. But, I think, many people would just laugh and scoff at the idea that being a writer wouldn't lead you anywhere at all. If you (You know who you are), can't accept the fact that I'm studying Psychology, then you definitely can't accept my ambition of becoming a writer.

Sometimes, when things are strange or different or unique, people, grown ups, whatever, they can't see the beauty these things sometimes carry within them. They will call it strange and crazy, and call you crazy for admiring or reading or watching these things. Maybe you just don't want to see the beauty inside.

Everytime when someone asks me what I study, you'll just answer 'Nah, just Psychology, I don't even know what sort of crazy subject it is. I shouldn't have let you simply choose these sort of subjects.'

FYI, I had more crazy ambitions. At one point, I wanted to be a forensic scientist, a cop, a CEO and a fashion designer. I knew you'd disapprove of all of them, so I chose the safest one. I think, that you have a bad impression towards Psychology, and people around you keep telling you that it's a 'bad' subject. I don't think that they, or you, can judge that. I understand you're concerned. But you're supposed to support me, not throw my ambition to the ground and step on it, repeatedly.

So I'll show you, and the rest of the people, that I CAN do great things with this degree, that I CAN succeed without going cuckoo like all of you are expecting me. Then maybe I won't be such an embarrassment after all.

Growing Up..Again

I think it's strange. Sometimes the people you knew so well before suddenly seem to change overnight. Some call it growing up. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it may be just, different. Sometimes it's called loosing yourself. Does it mean that we have to give up on whatever made us happy in the past? Just because someone tells you it's time to grow up?

Growing up doesn't mean forgetting the things that made you who you are. It means learning to fall, to accept it and to get back up stronger than you were before. I've seen so many people change, like I said, some for the good, and some, I don't even know who they are any more. Sometimes I feel guilty, because the people that I see have changed, that I have judged to be a shallow or different person for the bad, they're my friends.

But then, who am I to judge? Who am I to say that you're not perfect when I'm not? Who am I to tell you you're so shallow when I'm not exactly the deepest person around? Who am I to tell you that you're so stuck up when sometimes I can be arrogant and selfish and full of pride?

People can be hypocrites sometimes. You know it's so easy to say 'I'm never like that, and I most definitely will never be like that.' Well, never say never. I suppose that's what I'm trying to learn now. It's just so hard to think carefully before you judge someone, before you open your mouth to condemn that person with just a casually thrown word or sentence. It's so easy to judge others, but not ourselves. I guess I'm still learning.

Growing up, may be for the better, but only if we don't loose ourselves in the process. I hope, that when there comes a day I can not remember what made me who I am, what I am, I can just look around at my memories, my friends and my family, and remember that they made me who I am, and I'll be content.

R.I.P Whitney Houston

I couldn't believe it when my brother told me Whitney Houston was dead. She was only 48 years old, far too young to be gone.

I wasn't a great fan of hers, but I loved her voice, and her songs like I Will Always Love You and One Moment In Time accompanied me as I grew up. Going back to her old songs, I feel so sad. She was such a talented woman, yet so troubled. At least she left with the love of the entire world.

R.I.P Whitney Houston, your wonderful voice will be the stuff that legends are made of, and others will always remember your voice as the ultimate voice, and you as a Queen of Music. Hope you're at least happier where you are now.

Another Day

Another day..You know, sometimes you wished your life was similar to those of the TV world. I know, I do wish it too sometimes. But then, I think, 'Too much drama, no thanks'. I'm a very lazy and laid back person who hates drama. All I would say would probably be 'Please get it over with'. Probably the reason why I can not stand Korean Dramas.

I used to laugh at the notion of keeping a diary or journal or whatever. Why pour out your feelings to an inanimate object? Then I realised that in a way, that book, or diary or even this blog, becomes a part of you, once you've put so much of yourself into it. It's also quite interesting to see your thoughts grow from year to year. Sometimes, when you read an entry from a month, a year or even few years ago, you find out something special again, no matter how big or small it is. It could be a person's birthday, a sad day, a happy one, an angry one or whatever. But that feeling when you remember that incident and it brings a smile to your face for whatever reasons, is just so nostalgic that you feel you've found an old friend again. It's also nice to just write and write and write with no one stopping you or telling you this isn't appropriate or what not. Your diary, or blog, or journal, is YOUR world. You make the rules. You decide what's in it or not. You decide what you're going to immortalise for the rest of your life, or what you're going to forget. You choose what events define you, make you who you are.

So, in a way, I'm quite glad I've started writing again. It makes me feel, more free, a little by little, than I have ever been. Enough for today, ciao.

Poor Doggie..

I just saw this beautiful white dog outside my house today. According to my brother it's already been there for a week. I think it's been abandoned. There'e no collar around it's neck and it's eyes are so, so sad. It refused to eat the little food we gave to it, just kept looking around, as if waiting for someone to come. I don't know where it's owner is, but if he or she really did abandon this poor, beautiful and loyal dog, I must say that they are absolutely heartless.

Do they know how sad their dog looks when they have been abandoned? Did they see the pain in it's eyes when it realised it's owner has left it all alone?

I hope the dog will be all right. Trying to find someone to adopt it and get it to the vet, since my 'all mighty' brother just issued an order for me to find someone to take the dog to the vet NOW. Sheesh..Poor doggie.. :(

Back?

After a long, loong hiatus I've finally come back to this blog. It's been, I think about 2 years? Many things have changed; people gone, going to university, meeting new people. Yeah, life does go on.

I remember the first time I wrote in this blog. I was so full of anger and sadness then, so ready to destroy. But, I'm glad I'm so much more happier now. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin, with my own personality, no matter how dysfunctional it is. I guess it's what makes me unique.

Let's see, things that have changed. I do read less now, that's a shame. I simply don't have the time to just sit and read. I've started exercising now, finally. I suppose some things have changed for the better, but one thing I regret is that I never write these days. I used to sprout these little stories, projects I have never finished before. But it did give me pleasure to write. Maybe I'll start writing again, and maybe drawing too.

So, I suppose I'll stop here for now, come back in a few days or so. It's nice, actually to see how I recorded my thoughts and how I've changed. Ciao.